Let me be lavish of my tears and dream that all that is false is true

fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

so im rarely ever on livejournal anymore and i know i say that everytime i update this damn thing lol so kristen got me in big trouble and im trying to stay out of jail... i should be able toget out of it fuck she did i dont know wht the hell happend to her but she didnt go to jail so yea.... i dont know i just think im a real dumb ass... i have so many questions for her sometimes i want my closure well more like some answers but i know i will never get them cuz its all bullshit that comes out of her mouth like she tells me shit i want to hear... oh well

uhm i got to see my sandy day before yesterday and i shoud be able to see her today cuz its the 13th... later tonight i guess we are goin to the bar me and ken and my mom might show up after bingo so thats pretty cool right?

hmmm anyways i dont know much of wat to say except i am doing kind of ok and im hoping something will be ok soon

so i've decided NO MORE FUCKING WATER SIGNS not cancers especially my ex is the cruelest most deceitful person i've ever met and she left me here to suffer in her betrayal

It's so hard to find you
I'm standing right behind you
The streets are much colder
This mean I'm getting older

Why would you? How could I?
These questions lead to goodbye
But now I got my freedom
Don't I?

I parked my car outside your house
Hope that someday you'll come home
Seems the woman that I love
Is someone that I hardly know
And after all this time
I finally found a way to be alone
I'm terrified to think that I may be losing my mind

Shy girl, so humble
With eyes that make me stumble
Somehow not speaking lets me know everything
I go out, You eat in
Hot from the situation
You're naked in daylight
Wrap yourself up and goodnight

I'm burning, I'm hungry
Angry cuz she don't love me
You got me completely
In my own game you beat me

I parked my car outside your house
Hope that someday you'll come home
Seems the woman that I love
Is someone that I hardly know
And after all this time
I finally found a way to be alone
I'm terrified I think that I may be losing my mind

I will be back again
No this is not the end
I've fallen hard this time but I not giving in
I want the world to know that I won't let you forget
The tears that you shed
I'll make it impossible to let go

I parked my car outside your house
Hope that someday you'll come home
Seems the woman that I love
Is someone that I hardly know
And after all this time
I finally found a way to be alone
I'm terrified to think that I may be losing my mind

I parked my car outside your house
Hope that someday you'll come home
Seems the woman that I love
Is someone that I hardly know
And after all this time
I finally found a place to be alone
I'm terrified to think that I may be losing my mind

ok so me and ma went to pride i didnt think i was gonna get to go but we went and let me tell you it was really sad..... ok dont get me wrong a good thing did happen i got to see uncle jim i was hoping i'd run into him cuz i knew he lived down there and guess what? i did yay for me we hung out at his house for a while to.... i didnt stay at pride very long actually maybe an hour or less cuz i was fucking depressed when i saw them people being married and shit.... ugh i was sad and i am still sad so i hadda get away from it me and jim talked fer a while and im gonna mail him a bday card cuz nobody else will poor uncle jim aww.... he's so cute...

i am sad.... you know i've been trying not to be guess what? its not fucking working... but you know what? nobody gives a fuck

ps some old fat butchy dyke was checkin ma out and shit hahahahahah thats funny... (dont worry mary i think she likes you better)

so i decided i was going to look up some people on myspace well only a couple but anyways i couldnt find my friend randy so i looked up joe and omg i found him... you know who joe shepherd was like my bestest flamey friend in the whole world i sent him a message and told him to add me back wee hoo hopefully he does i dont thin k that i will see him for a while but the point is i found his ass =)



anyways thats all for now just thought i'd update...

When I first looked into your eyes thats when I knew I had to make you mine
I could see that you needed me to somehow
You brought me home and I invited you inside
When you had to go I didn't want you to leave
Because around you I didn't feel so alone
When you walked out the door,
I watched until you were out of sight
I will never forget that first night

[Chorus]
I fall for you, oh how I fall for you.
When you hold me close and press your lips to mine it still feels like the first time.
I love you so much and I melt into you everytime we touch.
Sometimes you're not here and when you're gone
I wish you never left
But when you come back you look into my eyes
And oh baby how i fall for you again
Oh how I fall for you
I fall for you

I have felt alone for years
And when I met you I was almost in tears
You looked so beautiful yet so sad
I wanted to ask you if I could be all you had
I know it sounds crazy, but I just needed you
You told me you loved me,
So scared that I might run away
But as soon as those words came out of your mouth
I knew I could stay
Oh my love

Chorus X1

It's been a year now since you've asked me to be yours
The days go by so fast with you
It only seems like yesterday that I first saw your beautiful face for the first time
I feel so lucky to be the one who wakes up with you every morning
The one who holds you close when you need me
The one who gets to kiss you goodnight
And give you hugs just because
And I feel even luckier that it will be me with you for the rest of our lives
I just wanted you to know
That I'll never stop falling

Chorus X2

amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:32:41 PM): lol
Kristen lehmann (10/30/2006 2:33:56 PM):
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:34:03 PM): what
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:34:12 PM): im going to
start calling you my smiley crab
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:34:13 PM): haha
Kristen lehmann (10/30/2006 2:34:23 PM): ur smiley
crab? man oh man ur weird LOL
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:34:31 PM): tell me bout
it
Kristen lehmann (10/30/2006 2:35:09 PM): im a crab..
Kristen lehmann (10/30/2006 2:35:27 PM): why couldnt i
be like a bird or a butterfly or hell even a damn
mouse
Kristen lehmann (10/30/2006 2:35:32 PM): no i get to
be a crab
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:35:36 PM): im a ram
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:35:38 PM): lol
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:35:43 PM): a sheep
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:35:44 PM): baa
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:35:44 PM): lol
Kristen lehmann (10/30/2006 2:36:23 PM): lol
Kristen lehmann (10/30/2006 2:36:30 PM): yea but those
are cuter than crabs LOL
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:36:35 PM): not really
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:36:40 PM): crabs are cute
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:36:46 PM): lol like
sebastian
Kristen lehmann (10/30/2006 2:36:55 PM): well thats a
a special crab
amanda MEANASS (10/30/2006 2:37:04 PM): your a special
crab

so i had to write a paper for my mommy on why homosexual marriage should be legal and i came across a quote i wanted to share...

When the law says "you cant", the sweetest words are "i do"

yay i have internet again but you know what? i really dont seem to care too much... alot has happened... but um.. anyways im gona update my blog cuz nobody ever reads lj but i figured id put something in here.. alright bye